A Small Pot Boils More Quickly
(Idea borrowed from Shakespeare, meaning: the more limited our life’s tools are, the more limited our responses become.)
People watching is more than just a fun sport and way to kill time. It can be hilarious, interesting, informative, highly instructional and beneficial. You can see the best and worst in people in some of the smaller activities, those that take place in unguarded moments. With less time to prepare and posture, more of a person’s true character comes to the surface for display. Those reflex reactions can tell a great deal and be of incredible help in working with prospects, hiring and training, establishing friendships, picking the right school for your child to attend, taking advise from someone and in so many more relationship situations. Since little shifts can create huge bottom line differences, paying attention to ourselves the way that others see us can alter how we are perceived and how the world responds to us. It can make the difference in doing things easier, being accepted and being given greater consideration for the desired business position or business deal. If you step back from your own life and truly be an objective observer, you will probably note little things that you do that can be changed and improved upon to promote that all important “quality of life” that most seem to regard as the “Holy Grail” of personal development.
It’s hardly ever the obvious issues in your life that move you. Like an iceberg showing a relatively small tip above the water, it’s the 90% below the waterline that captures the attention of ship’s navigators and pilots. Similarly, it’s our little “tells” that determine the largest portion of who we are. I asked a commercial real estate broker the criteria by which he hired sales associates. He told me that once an applicant showed the basic background and requisites for the position, he would make luncheon reservations at a favorite restaurant and ask the prospective sales associate to drive them there. He told the applicant that they were running late for the reservation. He mentioned also, how he hated to be late and show discourtesy to the restaurant, which was holding the best table, so please “let’s move.” As part of this man’s hiring practice he factored in just how nervous, how dangerous, how quick thinking and resourceful (risk/reward) the applicant was. I’m not saying that this is a good or bad idea, but it’s apparent that when a little pressure is on, and people are taken out of their comfort zone, you see more of that person. Watch how others (and you) treat waiters and waitresses, other people’s kids, doormen, housekeepers and customer service people. Words that are said in haste, with hostility and sarcasm are words that cannot be unsaid. They tell volumes about the speaker. They are said outwardly to the target but they also are internalized and stay with us as all our words and actions do, forever. When you’re on a long, slow line at the bank or the supermarket how do you feel? What kind of show do you put on to let everyone know how irritated you are? Looking for negative support (misery loving company)? When you get cut off inadvertently on the freeway and the other person goes on to the rest of their day, but for the next two hours they go living on in your head, rent free, does anything get better? When we are limited in the tools to change to something better, we stay limited in our small thinking. A small pot boils more quickly. If we want “better,” we need to be/act “better.” And we can.
What shapes our lives is the consistency of our thoughts and actions and the personality and character that results. We are constantly, in the now, creating our future. Stay present and aware of the NOW and the future will take care of itself. Since life doesn’t come with a list of instructions, most do the best we can. Habits are hard dying. We take the path of least resistance because it’s easy not necessarily right. There is work in making positive change, but the work can be comfortable. The concept of “hard” and “easy” is a choice we put on things. When we have difficulty and become frustrated in making a change–it’s, hard. What’s hard for one is easy for another. What if we took “hard” out of the equation? What if everything was easy? Would you look at and involve yourself in more positive changes?
Here are a couple of things that you can do right now to make a shift in the “little things” to which others and we pay attention.
1) When you find yourself anxious, angry, stressed out, impatient, overwhelmed, change your physiology. Put your shoulders down, stand straighter, breath deeply, get your body to do something other than what is doing at the time. If you’re sitting in traffic and annoyed, force yourself to smile, sit up a little straighter, do the “tense release” exercise with the steering wheel, suck in your stomach and exercise your abs, etc. If you are on line at the bank or supermarket, try toe raises (shape up those calves) or standing on one foot (great to develop balance). Do something to change your present physiology.
2) Change your mental focus to anything else that’s positive. If you have a favorite saying, repeat it. If you have a mantra, use it. Say a prayer; focus on a few things in your life for which you are grateful. As you make these small positive shifts in thought, the very idea of going to these more positive and productive mental areas will come more often and easier. Eventually, just like with the training of a puppy (conditioning) your mind will eliminate the old behavior/actions in favor of the more comfortable desirable ones. As with anything that is a deviation from the norm, the consistent practicing of these little, yet life changing ideas, over a 2-4 week period of time, will create habits that last.
Barry Eisen
Reposted from Dec 2, 2016
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